lost in translation

does anyone remember:
AYBABTU?

Sometimes foreign exporters do not fully understand the nuances of the languages they are translating too.

Sometimes they choose correct words, but not the right words.

>>

I bought some violent gifts (airsoft guns) for some of my buddies this Christmas (Phil M. don't worry yours is on its way, had to send it back)

It's funny, because everyone buys them so they can shoot each other (like paintball).

But the manufacturers don't want to get sued so they say the guns are for target practice only. Most have a sticker that says: "do not aim at animals or humans"

On James Bean's gun, some japanese translater wanted to make the point by expressing how many joules of energy are released by these weapons. But there must not have been enough room to fit it all on the sticker.

...if only there was a way to say "animals" and "humans" with just one word!

This may be my favorite translated sticker yet.

I can't imagine ever getting tired of hot-n-ready pizzas.

However, I have gotten bored of picking them up.

Try this little trick to spice up that process (it's had mixed reviews so far).

When the teenager behind the counter opens the box and says, "how does this one look?" Take the box firmly in your hands (allowing her to still retain at least a finger on it).

Lean in a bit. Then lean in some more.

Then start to take deep (noisy) breaths through your nose.

Allow these snorts to rattle in your throat a little bit.

Make sure that your face is so close to the pizza that the cashier will expect you to come back up with greese on your nose.

Then step away, look thoughtful, shake your head slightly and reluctantly, and ask to see another one.

crusty little faces

aren't the worst of it.

when my boys are sick, they have a hard time sleeping.
But they need to sleep to get better.
But they won't sleep if I'm in there.

So I stand on the other side of their door.

I can't leave.
I can't go in.
I just suffer.

They cry like abandoned orphans.
They think they are all alone.




We're starting lent early and giving up those bacteria farms known as "nurseries".

and so ends my career in medicine

I think I just lost the only patient in my practice.

Andrea's ear was bothering her yesterday so she asked me to take a look at it with my otoscope.

I was more than happy to oblige, since she is the first person to actually *request* my services since I purchased my $9 diagnostic tool at Walgreen's.

I've been locating at healthy eardrums whenever people will let me (mostly Andrea, the boys are completely uncooperative), and I've been studying pictures of infected eardrums on the internet.
With this substantial training supporting my diagnosis, I insisted that Andrea go to the medicenter on her way to work (since Walgreen's will not let me prescribe antibiotics).

Well, apparently the "professionals" at the medicenter did not find an infection. They said there was just pressure and she should take a decongestant. To add insult to injury, Andrea took their word over mine.

And so ends my medical career.

Thankfully, I didn't go down like the surgeons who sent this patient home with the pictured souvenir:



(full story here.)

>tomorrow I'll make another hiatus from my "day job" when I fill in for my friend Jerry at his church. Hope that goes better...

....those rudd boys

Andrea has become quite the photographer since recieving her digital camera for Christmas.

This photo was taken after the buddies got in trouble for hoarding toys.

Whenever they treat each other in unkind ways we make them go to the laundry basket and pray together.









If you haven't been to their site, you're missing some of Andrea's great posts and photos.

For my contribution, I'm working on some videos for their site which will be released in a week or so.

And if you haven't looked at some of their old pictures for awhile, you should definitely take a stroll down memory lane by visiting their first website.

I am a human again

From last thursday at 6am (when I left for a video shoot),
until Wednesday when I handed the (mostly) completed DVD into the hand of my client,
I have been a machine.
I had mimimal sleep.
I had minimal time with my boys.
I had minimal contact with other humans.
Even my bathing habbits were minmalized.
I consumed large quantities of cheerios and coffee.

But I made the deadline. The clients were happy. And now we can buy diapers for another month.

So I'm back to being human. I got to spend all of Wed. afternoon, and yesterday re-aquainting myself with my family.

My boys and I are back to our regular morning routines.

Later today I'll hang out with some friends, and lay down some new tracks for stock20.

When the final revisions are completed I'll post a link to the video.

Sorry for the absence.

Sorry for the silence. My schedule won't even out for another two weeks.

In the meantime here are some shiny trinkets for you blogavores.

Christmas was great andrea has some great posts.

Andrea and I published an online christmas update (with some great pictures of the buddies).

My friend Josh Bean tied the knot on new years eve. Much fun and dancing ensued. James Bean claims he has video.

My mom is now a digital photography and graphic design guru – spreading her photo-montages and msn slide-shows all over the civilized world. She's pretty good (and this with all her other talents).

My dad (nearing 60 years of age) tore up the basketball court when I invited him to our friendly Sunday night game. He scored his share, stole the ball incessantly, and distributed assists like cheap candy on halloween. (and phil got a little too personal with keith—that's all I will say about that)

The buddies are having a hard time tonight – we just found at that there playmate from Sunday was diagnosed with strep throat today. Isaac and Will adore their cousins and will do anything to emulate them – no significant temp yet, but we'll see.

Stock20.com plods along, still ranking low in google as as source for royalty free music (in spite of my shameless psuedo-googlebombing).

Google continues to amaze me. Gmail is the greatest. Google Maps kicks mapquest's lower hemisphere, and Google Earth is incredible (go ahead, take a look at my house. I'm kittycorner from the tennis courts). Now there is Google Moon. Try zooming in as close as you can. (and btw: your enjoying google's bloggin software right now.

There have been no updates to the Homstarrunner website for almost a month. The homestarr community is furious.

Must Visit, Must Pass Along

www.chadandmichella.blogspot.com

Send this to your friends. Post this on your blog:
I never ask people to do this, but this is important.

Why the silence?

I've been under the gun on a couple projects:

I've spent most of my time trying to complete the rough cut of a video for my friends at Starr Commonwealth.

Time is tight for my video client, but I refuse to subtract time from my real job.

And any time left over after the twins get their share, has been exerted toward the launch of my Production Music Company.

You can't see the Starr video yet.
You might not be able to visit the boys right now.
But you can check out www.stock20.com

In fact. It would be really helpful to me if you surfed around and found problems.

Even better if you took a few minutes to "be" a customer.

Pretend you are a video producer, sign up for a free account. You'll get a gift certificate by e-mail which you can redeem for a free download.

I recommend you purchase (for free) "Quiet Goodbye" (featuring Ang. on the strings), or "Sunday Morning" (featuring Ang. on the Bossendorfer Grand Piano).

Anyway, it would really help my new business venture out if you could be fake customers for me. And if you know anyone who is need of buyout production music, let them know.

If you don't understand the concept of royalty free music, here is a simple explanation.

testing-temporary post

sorry friends...
not a real blog post.

link

link2

One For the Record Books

Did you know that they still hang people?

But before you start thinking how backward Singapore is, dont' forget about the good old USofA:

We've recently reached a new milestone in our attempts to stop violoence by enacting violence.


Kenneth Boyd was the 1000's person we've killed since they re-instated the death penalty 28 years ago.

Just think. We're saving tax dollars and maintaining our position as (many studies indicate) the most violent developed nation in the world.

How do you see James Bean

Do you see him like this?

Or do you view him from a different perspective?

Becuase, perspective is a powerful force.

And if you see James as pictured above. My son Will does not share your perspective.

This is how Will sees him.

For reasons which he has not yet disclosed, Will is absolutely and consistently terrified of James.

Isaac, on the other hand, thinks he's great.

no james beans were harmed during the creation of this post.

New Record (22 minute sermon)

Well I did it. 22 minutes. I have proof. It's on tape, and could even be watched by tuning in to some channel at some time (sorry, we dont' have cable).

Andrea and I really enjoyed the Advent liturgy and the congregational participation. The people were very warm and gracious.

And I'm beginning to think that a 25 minute sermon may create a far better setting for an encounter with God's Spirit.

(Some of my friends from OVCC will begin to calculate the things they could have accomplished --with all their free time-- had this realization dawned on me 4 years ago).

Isaac released his newest short today.
(see it on his page)
Will is working on the early stages of
his next project titled "Ah!"

Dad's working on a video for Starr Commonwealtlh
Mom finally gets a few days off, and has recently
published on her blog .

This Sunday:
I return to the pulpit.
I will wear a robe and vestments.
I will preach a 25 minute sermon.

Are all of these statements believable?

Well that's what Advent is all about. Hope.

I'm helping out my friend Pastor John Brown, whom I have much respect and affection for.

He's been there for more than 30 years.

Does this make me a Baptist again?

Dam Hoover!

Isaac Begins his Modeling Career.

You may have seen these all over West Michigan.


... This of course is a "future Isaac" perhaps at about 11 months old.

more adorable babies found here.

had a great time visiting the canton rudds this weekend. (Will really did have a great time--he just didn't like the bright sunlight)



We did and ate many wonderful things, but mostly loved being with the peeps.

Isaac has been saying "dada" too now. It's the best.

I think Will said Mama today.

After an exhausting all-da trip in the carseats we let them "jump" for a while.

Isaac went nuts. Squealing, talking, spinning, swinging.

Will was *very* serious. He jumped in perfect rythm for several minutes straight. With unblinking determination, he never even cracked a smile. Then finally he paused. Gave me a knowing look, then with a slight shake of his head, huffed out a sigh.

It was the perfect "you wouldn't believe the day I just had at work" look.

...and then back to hopping.

It is so fun to see their personalities emerge. Where do they learn this stuff???

Don't Bite off more than you can Chew

This too was one ambitious snake.



Has anyone ever said to you: "don't eat that, it will kill you"?
















What you are looking at is a burmese python that burst after eating an alligator in the florida everglades.







I don't know where I got this. I think it was from some link on David's blog.

sick day...
Well it's official. The north rudds are all sick. I think Will caught it from reading Andy's blog. Isaac got it from him and gave it to Andrea. Andrea drank from my water glass.

Ok that's the theory.
If we could market the snot our boys are producing and sell it for a penny an ounce, they could attend the college of their choice.

So we're skipping church, hunkering by the fireplace and waiting to feel better.
Andrea's sleeping the day away so she can be miserable all night at work.