Well, don't waste your hard earned money. Instead, use the following system to save time and expense:
1) place all of your "shred-able" documents in a bin by your diaper changing table.
2) Use the documents as wipes, tucking them securely into the rolled up dirty diapers before throwing them away.
3) Now you've saved money on wipes, AND the shredding machine you didn't need to buy.
Any thief who STILL finds your credit card numbers, probably needs the money very badly. You should accept this as a legitimate charitable donation.
Some of you remember a post about my friend Phil's crazy dog-powered car.
While concerned about the power transfer loss of it's treadmill based design, and skeptical about its wood construction, I was proud of Phil for looking for ways to pass a cleaner earth down to our kids.
His wife Missy informed me that the original design was powered by (many) hamsters.
Phil, your idea has stuck with me.
I've been thinking about getting one of those push-powered lawn mowers, and wondering if someone might invent a larger version with a dogsled attachment.
Great for dog lovers, great for the environment.
Does anyone have some welding equipment to build my friend Phil a zero-emissions dog powered lawnmower?
meanwhile, this guy is distributing his "dog powered scooter"
This warning sign is on the handle of a release cable *inside* the trunk of a convertible Mustang.
Maybe the readers will help us find a new interpretation, but we could only come up with one.
Note: The release handle *must* exist to thwart evil intentions. Otherwise the stickman would not instruct us to RUN.
"If Bad people lock you in the back of a trunk, pull this release, leap from the car, and run away!"
There are only a few ways this could have come about. Here's the most likely one.
Vonda works at Ford. She's not real bright, but she's connected to the right people, 30 years deep in seniority, and she usually gets her way.
Vonda watches a movie on a Thursday night. In that movie, some character endears himself to Vonda's heart.
Sadly, this character is killed by mobsters after being hauled away to some isolated location in the trunk of a car.
Vonda looses a half hour of sleep as she thinks "if only you could open the trunk from inside the car!"
The next morning, Vonda takes Gordon (chief engineer for safety devices) aside and makes it perfectly clear, that this tragedy will not happen in a Ford Mustang on her watch.
Gordon, not realizing the depth of Vonda's resolve, jokingly notes that the handle would have to be made from "glow in the dark" plastic so you could find it in a dark trunk.
"Excellent, I want to see a CAD rendering on my desk Monday." Commands Vonda as she turns and walks away from disoriented Gordon.
.:That year, millions of dollars of wasted expense are passed along to Ford consumers.
.:A struggling "glow in the dark plastics" company in Armpit Falls, Arkansas survives one more year before closing it's doors.
.:Section 374b of The Mobster Handbook is updated, instructing kidnappers to remove the interior release with a pair of wire snips, whenever a Ford Mustang is used.
update: well according to Chris on Seth Godin's website here's the real story
But, the difference with the FORD handle, is the stick figure is running away, which makes it a lot more fun.
(pictorial interpretation by Danielmatic)
"If there is an emergency (or if you feel otherwise inclined to do so) here is one good way to dismantle the aircraft."
"If the plane is being evacuated and you do not want wish to exert any effort in helping others, simply stand on the ground, waving and pointing your arms. This will also benefit those who are under the false impression that it would be best at this point to climb on top of the plane, instead of placing their feet on solid ground."
"If your plane makes a successful emergency landing in the high desert (near a mountain), exit the plane in a panic. Once you get to the bottom of the inflatable slide run like a banshee into the desert where you will have plenty of food and water. By spreading out in the wilderness, everyone has a much greater chance of being found quickly. "
Here's one that I saw on a water heater.
It's pretty complex, but I think you get the idea.
Then I saw this one on a moving van while driving to the Flint airport.
"Packing Tape Should Not Be Used For Painful Practical Jokes."
I agree, I'm just not sure why this is on the side of the truck.
someone in this company is obviously carying scars from a bad college experience.
Tommorow's Edition: "Emergency Instructions from Airtran"
I've been pretty swamped preparing for a last minute trip to LA to promote stock20.com
it went well. I will regale you with stories and photos later.
for now, here is a tasty treat (stock20's recent demo):
I prefer that you listen to this on an mp3 player, good headphones, or good speakers....
read the story here
summarized article highlights for my lazy friends:
A petitioner complained that the monkeys were attacking lawyers and their clients and snatching their food.
Delhi suffers from a serious monkey menace, with scores of animals seen across the city.
The monkeys are mostly seen around top government offices.
Delhi's monkeys have gained a notorious reputation for invading homes, schools and government offices.
The monkeys who have moved into residential areas and official enclaves due to Delhi's shrinking forests, are said to have become a security threat.
Two years ago, the ministry of defence found some of its top secret documents scattered all over the place one morning.
It was blamed on the many rhesus monkeys which flock around the colonial-era building.
Be sure to listen with a good set of speakers or headphones (or put it in your ipod)
This will probably appear in the Starr Commonwealth Spiritual Development Video which I am about to complete.
**ps. Updated the boys blog with a video today (it's a view weeks old, but never before seen)