lost in translation

does anyone remember:

Sometimes foreign exporters do not fully understand the nuances of the languages they are translating too.

Sometimes they choose correct words, but not the right words.


I bought some violent gifts (airsoft guns) for some of my buddies this Christmas (Phil M. don't worry yours is on its way, had to send it back)

It's funny, because everyone buys them so they can shoot each other (like paintball).

But the manufacturers don't want to get sued so they say the guns are for target practice only. Most have a sticker that says: "do not aim at animals or humans"

On James Bean's gun, some japanese translater wanted to make the point by expressing how many joules of energy are released by these weapons. But there must not have been enough room to fit it all on the sticker.

...if only there was a way to say "animals" and "humans" with just one word!

This may be my favorite translated sticker yet.


I can't imagine ever getting tired of hot-n-ready pizzas.

However, I have gotten bored of picking them up.

Try this little trick to spice up that process (it's had mixed reviews so far).

When the teenager behind the counter opens the box and says, "how does this one look?" Take the box firmly in your hands (allowing her to still retain at least a finger on it).

Lean in a bit. Then lean in some more.

Then start to take deep (noisy) breaths through your nose.

Allow these snorts to rattle in your throat a little bit.

Make sure that your face is so close to the pizza that the cashier will expect you to come back up with greese on your nose.

Then step away, look thoughtful, shake your head slightly and reluctantly, and ask to see another one.

crusty little faces

aren't the worst of it.

when my boys are sick, they have a hard time sleeping.
But they need to sleep to get better.
But they won't sleep if I'm in there.

So I stand on the other side of their door.

I can't leave.
I can't go in.
I just suffer.

They cry like abandoned orphans.
They think they are all alone.

We're starting lent early and giving up those bacteria farms known as "nurseries".


and so ends my career in medicine

I think I just lost the only patient in my practice.

Andrea's ear was bothering her yesterday so she asked me to take a look at it with my otoscope.

I was more than happy to oblige, since she is the first person to actually *request* my services since I purchased my $9 diagnostic tool at Walgreen's.

I've been locating at healthy eardrums whenever people will let me (mostly Andrea, the boys are completely uncooperative), and I've been studying pictures of infected eardrums on the internet.
With this substantial training supporting my diagnosis, I insisted that Andrea go to the medicenter on her way to work (since Walgreen's will not let me prescribe antibiotics).

Well, apparently the "professionals" at the medicenter did not find an infection. They said there was just pressure and she should take a decongestant. To add insult to injury, Andrea took their word over mine.

And so ends my medical career.

Thankfully, I didn't go down like the surgeons who sent this patient home with the pictured souvenir:

(full story here.)

>tomorrow I'll make another hiatus from my "day job" when I fill in for my friend Jerry at his church. Hope that goes better...


....those rudd boys

Andrea has become quite the photographer since recieving her digital camera for Christmas.

This photo was taken after the buddies got in trouble for hoarding toys.

Whenever they treat each other in unkind ways we make them go to the laundry basket and pray together.

If you haven't been to their site, you're missing some of Andrea's great posts and photos.

For my contribution, I'm working on some videos for their site which will be released in a week or so.

And if you haven't looked at some of their old pictures for awhile, you should definitely take a stroll down memory lane by visiting their first website.

I am a human again

From last thursday at 6am (when I left for a video shoot),
until Wednesday when I handed the (mostly) completed DVD into the hand of my client,
I have been a machine.
I had mimimal sleep.
I had minimal time with my boys.
I had minimal contact with other humans.
Even my bathing habbits were minmalized.
I consumed large quantities of cheerios and coffee.

But I made the deadline. The clients were happy. And now we can buy diapers for another month.

So I'm back to being human. I got to spend all of Wed. afternoon, and yesterday re-aquainting myself with my family.

My boys and I are back to our regular morning routines.

Later today I'll hang out with some friends, and lay down some new tracks for stock20.

When the final revisions are completed I'll post a link to the video.

Sorry for the absence.


Sorry for the silence. My schedule won't even out for another two weeks.

In the meantime here are some shiny trinkets for you blogavores.

Christmas was great andrea has some great posts.

Andrea and I published an online christmas update (with some great pictures of the buddies).

My friend Josh Bean tied the knot on new years eve. Much fun and dancing ensued. James Bean claims he has video.

My mom is now a digital photography and graphic design guru – spreading her photo-montages and msn slide-shows all over the civilized world. She's pretty good (and this with all her other talents).

My dad (nearing 60 years of age) tore up the basketball court when I invited him to our friendly Sunday night game. He scored his share, stole the ball incessantly, and distributed assists like cheap candy on halloween. (and phil got a little too personal with keith—that's all I will say about that)

The buddies are having a hard time tonight – we just found at that there playmate from Sunday was diagnosed with strep throat today. Isaac and Will adore their cousins and will do anything to emulate them – no significant temp yet, but we'll see.

Stock20.com plods along, still ranking low in google as as source for royalty free music (in spite of my shameless psuedo-googlebombing).

Google continues to amaze me. Gmail is the greatest. Google Maps kicks mapquest's lower hemisphere, and Google Earth is incredible (go ahead, take a look at my house. I'm kittycorner from the tennis courts). Now there is Google Moon. Try zooming in as close as you can. (and btw: your enjoying google's bloggin software right now.

There have been no updates to the Homstarrunner website for almost a month. The homestarr community is furious.