I'm publishing a difficult blog post. It's probably not what you came here hoping to find.
In posting it here, I hope that I will find myself making verbal explanations to people less often. I've already found that it is far too easy to tell this story in ways that justify myself at Andrea's expense.
And I know that no good will come from that.
So what's written here is not confidential.
But I'm not ready to discuss this in more detail right now.
***[e-mail i sent out a few days ago]
Some of you may already know, have an awareness, or suspect some piece of this. Some of you may have no idea at all.
And I realize this is not the best way to tell you, but there doesn't seem to be any good way, and it needs to be said.
Andrea and I agreed on the paragraph below, as reflecting truth and honoring both of our perspectives as much as possible.
In some ways, I would like to talk to you about this (and want to); but mostly I'm not ready to yet, don't think it's best, and it would not be possible at this time for me to have that conversation with all of you.
But that doesn't mean I don't want to talk to you at all, or ever again.
This isn't a secret [in fact we'd rather not explain this personally to everyone we know].
The paragraphs below seem to share the neccesary information that will be most helpful toward a healthy future.
I'm truly sorry, for the hurt this will cause and for the roles I have played in bringing it about.
With Love, Daniel
From Andrea and Daniel:
We're sorry to tell you that our marriage is ending. We decided to tell you this jointly because there are (obviously) many things we do not agree on, and at this point we know that focusing on those things will probably not be helpful for us or the people we care about. So we want to focus on what we do agree on.
We're both saddened by this, and we both have regrets about those things which brought us to this point.
We understand that this is difficult for the people we care about to, and we regret that.
We both want to do everything we can to make the best of this (especially as it relates to Will and Isaac).
We both want to maintain meaningful relationships with the people in our lives (you).
We both have a desire to avoid blaming and bitterness, and we both recognize that this will be a challenge.
You can help us by, remaining a part of our lives even when it's awkward, praying for us, and extending us some extra grace as things are difficult.
Daniel & Andrea